I’ve always felt different. Since childhood, I was treated like a girl, even though I was born male. My parents had hoped for a daughter, and when I was born, they were disappointed. Over time, they made a choice to raise me as a girl, and they named me Samia. From that moment, I was treated as their daughter. It wasn't an easy truth to accept for some, but as time went on, it became my reality.
When I was little, I always wore dresses. I loved the way they felt when I spun around and twirled. My hair was long, and my mom would always brush it and make it shiny. Sometimes she would braid it, and it made me feel really special, like a princess. I always liked looking in the mirror and seeing my long hair—it made me happy.
As I got older, I started wearing different clothes like salwar kameez and churidar. My favorite part was when my mom helped me put on my saree for the first time. It was so big and pretty, and I felt like I was in a magical world. The fabric felt soft, and my mom showed me how to fold it just right, and I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe how grown up I looked. I loved wearing it so much!
I also learned to put on makeup, even though I was still young. At first, I just put on some lip gloss, but then I started trying things like eyeliner and blush. I loved how makeup made me look different, and it felt like a fun game. I liked putting on eyeliner because it made my eyes look bigger, and I loved the way my cheeks looked when I added blush. It was like painting a picture of myself, and I felt really happy every time I tried something new.
When I was little, I got my ears pierced. It hurt a little, but I was so excited to wear earrings! I started with tiny ones, but as I grew, I wore bigger ones that sparkled. They were so shiny and fun to wear. I also got my nose pierced, and I liked wearing a little nose ring, even though it was small. It felt like a special part of me.
I really liked wearing jewelry too. I wore bangles and necklaces, and it made me feel really pretty. The sound of my bangles jingling when I moved made me smile. I loved picking out the jewelry that matched my clothes. It felt like I was putting on little pieces of happiness, and I liked looking at myself all shiny and pretty.
Every time I wore my dresses or my jewelry, I felt like I was being the best version of me. I liked the way I looked and the way it made me feel
People around me referred to me as the sweetest girl, and my parents showered me with love. I grew up believing that I was a girl, and that felt right to me.
As I reached adulthood and completed college, my parents began to think about my future, specifically my marriage. But something inside me changed. Suddenly, the male side of me—the one I had been suppressing for years—began to surface. I started to feel conflicted. I had lived as a girl for so long, but I now wanted to explore life as a man.
I talked to my parents about my feelings, and they were deeply upset. They had raised me as a girl, and they hoped I would continue on that path. They suggested that I marry a man, but I wasn't ready for that. My inner turmoil made it difficult to decide what to do. After a lot of thought, we decided to consult with a psychologist to understand what was going on in my mind.
The psychologist told me that, although I was biologically male, my mental and emotional state had developed in a way that made me feel more aligned with being a woman. He recommended that I find a solution that would allow me to live authentically. He proposed that I marry a woman who understood my situation and that I could experience both aspects of my identity: first, as a bride, to satisfy my feminine side, and then as a husband when I felt comfortable embracing my male identity.
I was unsure at first, but I agreed to try and find someone who would accept me for who I was. That's when I met Keya. She was confident, stylish, and open-minded, and she understood my situation. We started dating, and eventually, she proposed to me. She knew about my past and my struggle, and she loved me despite it. Keya made it clear that she didn’t want to be the traditional bride; she wanted someone who would understand her as a partner.
We agreed to marry, and over the next week, I prepared for my wedding. I went with Keya to a beauty salon, where I underwent a full transformation. They waxed my body, shaped my eyebrows, and did a facial to bring out my femininity. I had always admired the beauty of bridal wear, and I was excited to try on sarees, jewelry, and makeup. Keya helped me choose a beautiful red bridal saree, along with the accessories—a necklace, earrings, and bangles. It was a whirlwind of excitement and nervousness, but I felt ready for the new chapter in my life.
On the day of the wedding, I woke up early and prepared myself. I was surrounded by a team of beauticians who helped me get ready, and soon I was dressed in my bridal attire. The makeup was applied carefully, and I was adorned with all the traditional ornaments, including a nose ring that I had always loved. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I could hardly believe the transformation. I felt beautiful, and more than that, I felt like I was finally being true to myself. I was ready to take on the roles of both bride and wife.
The wedding ceremony was filled with emotions. Keya and I exchanged vows, and as part of the traditional ritual, she placed a mangalsutra around my neck and applied sindur to my forehead. It was a moment I had never imagined but one that felt right in that moment. Afterward, we celebrated, danced, and shared the joy of being united.
Now, as a married couple, Keya and I live together, and our life is a beautiful blend of love, understanding, and self-expression. We’ve created so many special memories, and over time, I’ve learned to embrace both sides of my identity with her by my side. There are moments when I am her partner, but there are also times when I step into the role of the bride, wearing sarees and jewelry that make me feel feminine and beautiful.
During festivals, for example, we have our own traditions. Last Diwali, Keya and I celebrated with a special twist. As part of the celebration, I wore a gorgeous red saree, and we both spent hours decorating the house with lights and flowers. I helped her prepare sweets in the kitchen, wearing my favorite bangles and earrings, feeling like I was stepping into the role of the bride. The moment when we lit the diyas together, I felt an overwhelming sense of connection to both my past and my present life. Keya, too, wore a beautiful outfit, and we both enjoyed the celebration together as if we were reflecting two sides of the same life.
There’s also the time we had a “Girls’ Night Out” just a few months ago. Keya and I got all dressed up—she in her stylish dress and me in a chic salwar kameez. We spent the evening chatting and laughing at our favorite café, enjoying cocktails and the kind of freedom that only comes with being in a safe, accepting environment. We had so much fun, taking pictures, joking around, and feeling like two friends out for a night of fun. I wore my nose ring and kept my hair styled in a way that made me feel confident and beautiful, and Keya was just as radiant. The night was filled with laughter, and we left feeling more connected than ever.
Then, there was the girls' trip we took to the beach. We spent a weekend away in a quiet coastal town, just the two of us. I packed my best sundresses, beach hats, and sunglasses, ready for some fun in the sun. It was the first time I had truly let go and embraced the feeling of being a woman, outside of our home, in the company of other women. We went to the beach, swam in the sea, and enjoyed long walks along the shore, just talking about everything and nothing at all. We had breakfast in the mornings, sitting outside by the beachside café, and in the evenings, we dressed up for dinner in the most beautiful outfits. I wore a pretty floral dress, and Keya wore a lovely sun-kissed skirt with a matching top. We laughed, shared stories, and felt like we were two girlfriends on a fun getaway, celebrating life and our bond.
Life, now that we’re together, is a mixture of adventure and quiet moments of joy. It’s different than I imagined, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted
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